Wanker!

Got to whine in this post liao, long time no whine, feeling a bit frustrated hahaha. Most of the time my friends are quite reliable, except for a few circumstances, actually no, only 1 possibility – GIRLS! Never fails to show the buay steadiness of friends hahhaa. A lot of classic incidents, let me name a few.

The most normal and frequent happen scenario is this. We plan to go out, then we jio our clique. In the end it seems we are not asking them to go out, rather it seems we asking their gf to go out. Cause they usual replies is ”wait i ask my gf.” Guess you get the drift so i won’t emphasis on this.

Another scenario is this, we go to a club with 4-5 people, in the end sitting on the table will be 2 (usually its me and Chenghan, if Youjun and Zhiwei goes then its the 4 of us). The others, namely Guowen, Junyuan, Calvin will be happily creating and scoring goals (girls that is, not literally scoring goals). So the 2 of us (sometimes 4), would be drinking, thats maybe 1 of the reasons why we can drink better? Hahaha. Oh and to add, its not that we don’t like girls lah, you think the 4 of us need to create chance?! The ladies put the ball into the own net most of the time!! Haahahaa. Just joking…

Scenario 3: After a day at clubbing normally there will be some casualties. Meaning they will be dead drunk. When i say dead drunk it means that they give you the ”I am not going to walk anymore” look. This look is easy to mimic, you just close your eyes then then lie on the floor without mumbling a single word. So some of us will be looking after these people. But if 1 of us has a date, or manage to get a date inside the club, then the guy would be allowed to leave the group. Or if their gfs ask them to go home then they will be allowed to go. Its like these people is telling us ”eh seldom i manage to find girls during clubbing right (actually, no! you always manage to!)” or ”my gf gonna kill me lah, so i have to go home (KNNCCB your friend lying half dead and your gfs gonna kill you for that?!!)” HAHAHA.

There is more incidents to add, but i guess you get the picture. I must add, no one is wrong cause its normal to place yourself first, in front of others. Who likes to look after a drunk friend? The drunk guy will just talk nonsense, and then vomit, and then talk, and then vomit till he is so tired he falls asleep. But still i enjoy most of the trips with the lads, though some people might beg to differ, i think thats the fun of things. Your friends enjoy himself, gets drunk, you look after him, he recovers, you talk till the wee hours of morning, he appreaciates your help, you get drunk the next time, he helps you etc. I think this is life, just like during a soccer game. A over zealous player might keep attacking, and you scolds him ”eh fucking hell! Defend leh, don’t expect us keep defending and covering you!” But he’s trying to score a goal, just like clubbing, he is trying to enjoy himself and when u see him enjoying, you would enjoy too, cause its infectious. Don’t take that away from him ?

Only 1 problem though, normally our friends drunk liao also never get laid thus no enjoyment was ever created. So till then, drink carefully!

And i just realise my title – Wanker. Oh yah, Adrian is a wanker hahahahaha. He is a damn wanker!!! He is what Sol Campbell is to Tottenham, what Paul Ince is to Man u, what Lu Bu is to Dong Zhou, what Andy Lau in infernal affairs is to Sheng Ge, what Judas is to Jesus. Argh!! Wanker! Wanker! Wanker! Get my Tokyo?

Low Low Low

I think many of my close friends or people who bothered to talk to me on the phone have realise that i’ve been rather down these days. No mood to club, no mood to go out, no mood to study, no mood to work etc etc. The only time i manage to reach some sort of ”high” was when the scored was tied at 1-1 in the chelsea vs man u game.

But just when you thought the tide was turing, Mr Carrick had to spoil the party, its a obvious handball, whether or not it was delibrate is up for debate. But Mr Carrick, what have you bloody contribute during the whole match? For some moment i thought you were a new signing for Chelsea like Risse. You mutha farker keep giving the ball away. And yes, Hash Brown you are a bloody lousy center back. Your defending is atrocious. Oh yah before i forget, must praise Rooney, injured still play – heart of a lion all right.

Anyway fair play to Chelsea, they were the better team without a doubt, so yes 2 more games to go, either team could be in history by winning the double, but either team could also end up with NOTHING. Such is life, 1 small mistake and it might lead to a goal (read : Risse). 1 stroke of luck, could change your fate.

Thomas Jefferson once said :” I’m a strong believer of luck, the harder i work, the more luck i had. (He meant that luck is not given, but earned.)

Someone else said : ”Good luck is often with the man who did not include it in his plans.”

Back to the Chelsea game, the media potrayed 2 things after the game. Chelsea’s sportmanship and Manchester united ill discipline. I believe many of you have already been brain wash by the media, weak people get brain wash by the media. I say you deserve better! Let’s take Drogba’s incident, he kneed Vidic in the face, and before whatever sportsman, his initial reaction was to call for a foul. WTF! You stole my wallet but you call the police and say that your wallet was lost?! After he couldn’t win the foul and saw Vidic lying there like a dead Heyna, the normal reaction of everyone is to signal the ref lah, what else could you do?! Everyone have a little conscience! Second incident by the media, Ashley Cole telling the ref that there was no foul. Hahahahhaa at first i thought, oh fair play to Cole, honest enough to admit that there was no foul. But think about it, this was the guy who was red carded for disregarding the ref last time. How the hell do you win back your reputation? Its all about mind games. Roy Keane said: ”You fight aggression with aggression, strong mentality with strong mentality and then ability shows.” Thats why no one was better than him in terms of mentality.

The other incident, Rio Ferdinand throwing a tantrum at Mikel like a 5 year old who lost his lollipop. Let me tell you, yes Rio was no angel, but if you replayed the incident you realise the ref had already blown the whistle but the mutha fucker Mikel Obi Wan Kenobi came in with a knee high tackle, yes he miss i know. But if i were Rio, i would have stamp that farker. Anyway after that, Rio did his favourite move, whacking the ball into the stands, the last time he did that, he injured someone hahaahhaa. But love him for his passion, starting to like him a little now hahahahhaa.

Next the after match incident, the fight between Evra and security staff. See what the media want to show you? Evra looks arrogant and telling the guy ”Come beat me man, im here, nei nei ni poo poo.” ”See how long is my tougue weeeeee.” Ok my comments is whatever it is, Evra shouldn’t have gotten into a fight. He’s wrong whatever we can argue, or whatever the guy did, Evra’s wrong. Fine him and close the case.

So tonight will be the Machester Vs Barcelona game, i promise you an exciting event. A lot of people will be waking up to catch the game, some hoping manchester to win some to lose. Last words to the catalans : ADIOS!

Ice Skating

Tell you all an incident which happen during my secondary school days. I think this happen when i was in secondary 1. It was the school holidays, so as seeking attention kids, i think many of us in the group dye out hair and kept long hair. Yes it was the time where the longer your fringe the more sud you are hahahaha.

So during the weekends, we decided to go ice-skating at jurong east. You know jurong east entertainment center? The one whereby a lot of Ah Bengs 1. I honestly forgot who went liao, cause this happen like 11 years ago, i think there was Junyuan, Guowen (i no sure), Youjun, Juhong and Mouse? I think so lah, what i remember is that we about 5-6 people. The ice skating is situated at the highest floor, for those we went there before, you all can picture right. Second level is the arcade. So we were right, the place there really got a lot of ah beng. As sec 1 going to sec 2 kids, obviously a bit scared lah. But then again, as sec 1 going to sec 2 kids, this is the time whereby you dont wan people to look down on you.

So this is what happen, we went up the escalator, walking with a swagger, when we reach the ice skating center, i saw 1 ah beng from a far. I think he is about 16 years old, then i still remember what shirt he wearing till now. A black ”Feng Yun” shirt wahahahhaa. He was alone but he straight away tiao us liao. So being the hero we were, we see back lah. This is what he said :

Feng Yun : eh kua lan?! (something like what you looking, and no he is not asking if there is anything wrong with his outlook, he is actually trying to pick a fight)

5-6 of us : Silent.

Feng Yun : Li nang chap to lou eh ? (which gang you all from?)

5-6 of us : Silent.

Feng Yun : an zua? buay song? (as i mention earlier, this sentence is always used by ah bengs during confrontation. it is a MUST)

5-6 of us : Silent.

As you can see from this point of time, we kept silent, and obviously its not because we cannot be bothered. Its becuase the guy like scared the shite out of us liao hahaha. Continue…

Fengyun : An zua tao meng an ni teng (why you all the hair so long?)

Juhong : Sorry.

He shouldnt have open his mouth, cause then the ah beng aim him liao.

Fengyun : wah you side burn very long hor, why so long?

The next thing he did was grab Juhong head and bang into a board. Wah power, i that time was thinking, knn siao liao, come ice skate become kanna beaten.

Fengyun to Juhong : Give me your wallet.

Juhong gave him is wallet and the ah beng took about $20 from it. Then he let us go liao.

Inside the ice skating rink, i was already thinking liao, the guy will call more people or not, the guy will extort more money? The thought of giving my money to this jabroni made me wanna puke liao. So i thought of a wonderful idea, i hid all my money in a secret compartment of my wallet. And how lucky was i in doing that! The next thing we knew the ah beng come extort money again. So everyone of us gave him $5, when it was my turn, i did the ”I really no money, if not you can check my body.” And he believed hahahahhaa, so everyone of them lost some money lah, but at least never get beaten ok. Juhong lose the most money and get beaten LOL.

Don’t ask me why we 5-6 people also will scared. I think scared is normal right? When someone talks loud means you will guess he got some power, and we were also in unknown territory. I think its the same in life, when you speak with a lot of confidence, people most of the time believes you. Thats why snake oil can sell what right!

Mourinho and Happy Birthday Ryan

Had a crazy thought just now. About Mourinho being Man u’s manager, actually why not? Think about it, if this season Man U win both the CL and EPL, i think Sir Alex might just retire. And if he does, Mourinho also no club right? Just like life, never write off anything in football, like what Sir Alex said :” This is unbelievable!, Football. Bloody hell!”

Oh yah, then the manchester united faithful can have a new chant to replace the old Mourinho chant:-

Mouuuuuuuuuuuuurinnnnnnhooooooooo! Are you listening?!

You gonna keep our trohpy glistering!

Cause come back in May, we’ll win it again,

And bring it to Joes wonderlandddd~

 

P.S Happy birthday Ryan!

My Soldiers

I still have soldiers that is on the front line that’s willing to die for us,
As soon as we give the orders, never to extort us,
Strictly to show they support us,
Maybe shout them out in a rap or up in chorus to show that we love them back,
And to let them know how important is to have my soldiers up in
our corners,
Their loyalty to us is worth more then any fuck shit thing is!
But I ain’t trying to have none of my people hurt or murdered,
It ain’t worth it, I can’t think of a perfect way to word it,
Then to just say that I love you all too much to see the verdict
I’ll walk away from it all before I’ll let it go any further…
Now don’t get it twisted, it’s not a plea that I’m coping,
I’m just willing to be the bigger man,
If you all can quit popping off at the jaws with the knocking?
Cause frankly I’m sick of talking,
I’m not gonna let someone else’s coffin rest on my conscious!

Every Lad Is A Player

Saw Chenghan’s blog on the fantasy football, felt it was a good and funny blog haha. Imitation is the best compliment, so im going to do something similar. Cch 1 is the clubbing equivalent fantasy football team, mine is the real fantasy football team hahaha.

Formation : No formation, this is world class team, we play total football.

Junyuan : This is easy right, everyone knows him as Alan Shearer, but sorry lor. Alan Shearer can score goals whereby he can run and shoot. Alan is 10 chances 1 goal, so who is Alan? One day he plays as though he is possess, the other he plays like George Weah’s cousin (if you all still remember him). I would say he is Andy Cole, haha, need a few chances to score, but if the supply is good he will still do the job. He also have nifty footwork like Andy Cole, and like Andy Cole he only has 1 method to dribble past people.

Zhiwei : This fella, reminds me of John Terry, plays with 100% heart and passion, just like the way he drinks. Thing is, he moulds himself as a striker. So everyday while we kick soccer, he will tell us ”Drogba lai liao, siam ah.” When someone says something everyday, it sticks in your mind and you tend to believe it. So yes, he is Drogba, the power, the shooting, minus the whining plsssss.

Guowen : Whenever he plays, someone gets injured. Is it because he is hard? Or is it because he mis time his challenges? Needless to say, we all know who Guowen reminds us of, the guy with passion, Yes! you got it, Gary Neville! (His was the easiest to think of hahahahaha).

Gabriel : Ahhhh this is tricky, have the jersey number of Giggs, the steel of Keano, the defending of Hienze, the shooting of Scholes. Have a hard time thinking of a player for him. Must be left legged some more haha. Let’s present, Bryan Robson! Ok i know Bryan Robson is not left legged, then guys u give me a better suggestion lah. LOL! Captain Marvel, can dribble, can shoot, can pass long range, can tackle, what more can you ask for ?

Calvin : Wah this 1 difficult. But i only can think of 1 player, cause this player the first time i saw him play, he lao ka. Lao ka in EPL leh! Hahahaha. Derbyshire of blackburn fame. Cause Calvin also always lao ka, and Calvin as san po as him hahahaha.

Adrian : For this fella, i must think of a black person hahahaha. Cause you all know why lah hor hahaha. But actually played with this guy for few times, feel he plays like Gerrard haha. Never stop running (think Commando people is like this 1 lah siao siao). Then he big size, every ball also can head, tall some more. Then can run fast also, and packs a shot. Only thing is, everytime he comes up against me (Manchester United Fame), he screws up – just like Gerrard.

Chenghan : This buddy, say i am Christiano Ronaldo in his blog, for sure i must think of a star player for him right. Its called return of compliment. Let’s see the characteristic of him, walks with a swagger, broke his leg before, dribbles rather slowly but can still get pass people, plays with heart, superb heading skills, die hard man u fan. So i must think of a man u player for him tsk tsk… Actually at first i feel Cch reminds me of Carrick, but then again Carrick got no heart 1 leh. Ok the next closest person i can think of is Alan Smith hahahah. Nearly all the above characteristic Cch have, Smith also have. So best friend, yes, though you have left the team, i still support you ok!

Kaili : Robert Pires – enough said!

Ryan : Wah this fella also very joker 1, play defender but his actions is like Beckham. Hairstyle is Beckham hairstyle, everything also adidas, kick also wanna be as accurate as Beckham, boots also buy Beckham hahaha. But other than that, nothing similar liao haha. Ryan reminds me of Steve Bruce, can tackle, can joke, can lead, and most importantly knn got belly still can kick soccer. Hahaha.

Me : Got which player huh, play 15 mins tired 1? Or like got which player is like super sub. Hahaha. Though i very much wanna think i am Ronaldo, but im not lah. Except the part whereby i attract girls like bees to honey lol. I would say i am more like Solskjaer. Can sub in and change the game, but if play whole game normally no impact. Love to score a couple t0o lol.

Youjun : I think he plays like Alonso, i mean Xabi Alonso. Holds the ball well, got skill, but sometimes can knock around a little. Haha. Come on Youjun~ Score a halfway line goal for us!

All it all it have been rather difficult to match each player to a world class player, because everyone of us dont have position we always play in. I hope i didnt leave anyone out haha, and yes, please give comments if you have better opinion, then if i agree i will do a change!

Soccer After Work

Nowadays every thursday i will meet my company people to kick soccer at the field in our office. I normally will go with Adrian, so we will knock off at 6pm, get change and start playing at about 620pm. But today was quite a bad experience lah. Ok i dun wan to name names, you know my blog is read by millions and millions of fans right, err so not so nice lol.

I enjoy soccer, everyone of the lads know that, I guess i would like to say im not those dunno how to kick type. I think except for my stamina, and some say speed i am still all right hahaha. But playing with the guys in my company, except 3-4, the rest is like those ping pong bats whereby there is a string which attach a ball to it. Yes u guess it, they dun pass! So most of the times i dun bother to work for the team also, sometimes i will just defend with Adrian lor, like today i told him, we play defenders then can pick the ball, in this way we touch the ball more times hahahaha.

Then there is this guy, he will tell me and Adrian ”eh you all defend properly, dun defend like this, dun this and that and this and that” CCB, we defend you still kaopei. I never see you defend leh. And YOU are the bloody farker who keep losing the ball ok! Even Adrian also damn tulan him. I tulan still normal, as you guys know i easily ki sot when i see people do fark things. But Adrian will angry, means something is wrong liao, cause Adrian is the type normally more shui pian. hahahhaha.

Anyway better dun whine liao, cause got someone say ”i always whine” and ”very vain” and somemore ask me ”are you a guy or not” still got ”why you no courage 1”. HAHAHHAAHA!

Boring Game

Today morning woke up to watch the CL game between Barcelona and Man u. I woke up at the 55min of the game. Wah piang, really is super boring. I Man U fan also i must criticise, man u defended the whole game man! I still remember Alex Ferguson said :” This is not enough, we are Manchester United.” For yesterday’s game, i say, ”This is crap, this is liverpool God damn it!” Guowen msg me i also want to agree ”Eh we played like Greece, and the liverpool fans going to laugh at us.” Can’t agree better. 30-35% possession is crap, we  just kept camping in our own half.

We practically park a bus in front of the goal, our possession was atrocious, could not even keep the ball. And for the whole 35 mins i was watching, man u only launch 1 attack. And you know why players like Anderson didn’t get to play, while by right super reserve Park Ji Sung get to play? I give you a very good example, if you watch yesterday’s game, you would have saw Nani being brought in. There was a part, at the left flank, there was a 50-50 ball, a experience Champions league player would know that, if 50 50 dun go for it, cause once you don’t get it, it would be 2 against 1 as you have already committed to the challenge. You guys should watch that part, classic inexperience that showed in that incident.

For every bad thing, there must be some good in it. We got a good result, 0-0 is a good result to take back from Nou Camp. The result makes it simple, as long as we win it in Old Trafford, we’re going to Moscow. And i think Manchester United stick to the tactic that Sir Alex wanted, they rarely went out of position, kept their focus, created some fouls to stop the momentum. For the penalty miss, i have got nothing to complain about, shite happens, he scored 38 goals mates, what more do you want?! To me for the 35 mins or so of the 2nd half i watch, the best player was Scholesy, you made some great tackle. For those who know him, they are for once good tackles all right. He also tried to slow down the game, controlled the ball, wasted time, thats the mark of a player who plays CL year in year out. Another player worth mentioning for me is Evra. Solid game through out, ran and ran and ran, really like him man! Chenghan message me that Carrick was crap, but i felt he dive well a few times to earn quite a few free kicks to slow the game. Maybe the first half was very bad for him? Hahaha… People hate him, because no one at Manchester likes a player who whines and does not play with heart. Yes Rio, im looking at you too.

All in all, seems like its going to be a Man U Vs Chelsea final (yes i speak with confidence), though i hope its a Man U Vs Liverpool final. The history of this 2 clubs, deserve a meeting at the highest level. And to all, may the best team wins!

Passion

Roy Keane, Alex Ferguson, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, JF Kennedy, Warren Buffet – What do all these man have in common? Make a guess? Yes you got it…….. Passion. They have passion for what they are doing, for same it is for the game the love, for some it is for the country they love, for some it is for the knowledge they love. But ALL of them had PASSION. They had BELIEF, some believe that whenever you give 100%, you will definitely win the game, some believe that, even with kids you can win the game, some believe that a small country can contribute to the world too, some believe that nothing was impossible, while some believe in value investing.

Hope to share with you some quotes of these people, Enjoy :-

JFK : For of those to whom much is given, much is required. And when at some future date the high court of history sits in judgment on each of us, recording whether in our brief span of service we fulfilled our responsibilities to the state, our success or failure, in whatever office we hold, will be measured by the answers to four questions: First, were we truly men of courage… Second, were we truly men of judgment… Third, were we truly men of integrity… Finally were we truly men of dedication?

Roy Keane (There is only 1 Keano) : Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

Alex Ferguson (Damn respect this guy, hope i can meet him) : At the end of this game (the European cup final), the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you’ll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don’t you dare come back in here without giving your all.

Warren Buffet : You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out.

Mr Lee Kuan Yew (I think the greatest Singaporean ever) : Even from my sick bed, even if you are going to lower me into the grave and I feel something is going wrong, I will get up.

And to top it all off, i will like to give a quote by 1 of my favourite heros, Jose Mourinho  : Pressure? What pressure? Pressure is poor people in the world trying to feed their families.

Cheers!

I conquered The JP Morgan Run

Today i conquered the JP Morgan run. Yes i did. 5.6km was too easy for me, huff and puff, finished it in 60minutes and 12 seconds. Hahahaha. Come on, even commando Adrian finish it in 52 mins, just lost by about 8mins, not bad ok!

Actually i got try to run, ran about 1km, felt my ankle a bit sore (excuses), a bit gastric (another excuse), and a lot of pretty girls (not an excuse) so i decided to walk. So my so call work buddies Adrian and Nicole left me behind and continue running – what are friends for right? They see you tired, they say, ”i wait for u lah – at the finish line.” Hahaha.

Today also got 1 clown act by me, Adrian and me went to the toilet to get change for the marathon. So after changing, i felt the shirt given by our company to be sort of tight. Especially the collar. So i was thinking, knnccb, must be eat too much liao, suddenly become fatter. So i came out of the toilet with Adrian, and i was stil whining lah, i was going ”wah lau, Reuters give this free shirt, so tight 1 the collar, how to wear? Like dog leh.” Then i of my colleague say ”Eh Randy, you were wrong side.” KNNBCCB, super paiseh can!! Ji tao is take the mickey out of me……

On a more serious note, guess JP Morgan also smart, its like free advertising, they organise such an event to gain publicity, but also manage to cover cost, cause every runner got to pay about $50.

Haiz, rich and big companies, sure make money 1, difficult to die. To quote ” When the rich wage war, its the poor who dies.”