Different Faces

Since many of my friends are going to start working, I’m going to write a post today about generally the people you meet in office. I can confirm, in the numerous characteristics i am about to write, you will at least meet 50% of them in an office environment. As I only have office experience, this is what I can judge, for sales people or any other environment, please do not take this as a reference.

The ”everything also ok” worker:-

This colleague of yours, he is what we call the yes man. The boss ask him do 1 report he also smile smile say ok, ask him do 10, his smile also never change. He will just do. In short, he is what American’s call ”yes man”. No questions ask, just do it. In office, this type of people is good, but you must realise, must of the times he only yes man to the boss. If you ask him do things, he straight away become no man. So if you are a manager, might still work to your advantage, as you can give him saikang, but please be warned, normally he dunno how to do, he also will say ”ok i can do”.

The ”I dunno” Man:-

Ahh this guy, his favourite phrase i ”i don’t know”. Or he will have sudden memory loss at the correct time, especially if you ask him about his projects. He will go ”you got say meh? when?”. He will say it in such a way that, it seems YOU are forgettful but not him. Because he feels that as long he dunno, everything is ok, cause he dunno mah. He will also say, ”you never teach, how i know??”. Initiaitive never exists in his dictionary. To tackle such a person, the only way is to keep proof of what he say. But also please be warn, when he is desperate, he might chut his fatality move – ”wah i got send this e mail meh? Why you never remind me?”

The ”office slut”:-

This is my favourite. She dress up like wanna go disco. She wants to be seen. And she dress to kill. Normally she will dress in a low cut top, and a super tight skirt with high heels. Then she will chut the killer move. 1) Look around to see who is looking at her 2) Sit down very sloooooooowwwwly, but do not look at the people whom are looking at her 3) Once sitted, she will cross her legs sloooooooooooooowly 4) Look at the people who were looking at her 5) Bend down 30 degress more (this is very tricky, you cannot bend too much to show too much breast, but u must bend enough to show enough cleavage) 6) Pout 7) Smile. At this point, we will all realise there is no e mail functionality. I call it the 10 seconds wonder, whereby no email is sent of received for 10 seconds in that particular area. Careful though, this lady most likely have good PR skills with little intelligence.

The ”helpful” man:-

This guy is my favourite in the first day of work. He is very helpful and willing to teach. And normally he rarely anyhow shoot his mouth. He is nice, and tries to make you feel comfortable. I see very little flaws in such a guy, cause normally he does not have any ambitions. What he really wants is to be happy working in the office. Most likely he is also a family man, so the warning is, not to mention that family man no life blah blah.

The ”Lao Jiao”:-

This guy, is what i call facebook in office. He knows everything, everyone, everywhere in the office. Which toilet is best to shit in, you also can ask him. Cause he have work in the same office for the past 20 years. Most of the time you will see he very relax. Always smiling and flirting with the pantry auntie. But if you want to climb the corporate ladder, this guy is a key figure. You want to know whether your boss got fling? Checked. You want to know whats the office slut hp number? Checked. You want to know boss pang sai use left or right hand wipe backside? Checked. And of course if your boss use hand and not toilet paper to wipe backside, then i say good luck to you.

The ”Workaholic”:-

This is what many people aspire to be. As in, the general idea of people is, as long i work long hours, my career sure swee swee. Wrong. You see there is also flaws in this characteristic. Normally colleagues in office don’t like this character. Why? Because they spoil market lah! People work until 6pm go home, you work until 11pm. Buay gum right. Or some people might say, ”eh you work until so late, you work slow huh, take so much hours.” And this guy he also have some yes man traits, the boss ask him simi he also most likely will ok. But he also got tactic lah, normally if u realise, when boss on leave or mc, he zhun zhun 6pm go home 1 lah. But of course, this person also good, if you partner him in projects, he very steady 1. This he bao that he also bao, hmm better than slacker lah.

Ok obviously still got a lot of funny characters, but i tired already. Generally what I want to say is, find a character that suits you. There is no right or wrong character. Just adapt to the situation. Good luck and hope you enjoyed the post!

KL Trip To See Manchester United

All right i’m baccckkk. Back to reality of a 5 day work week haha. But hey after having fun its time to get back to work. But still I want to write about this trip to KL. Short it may be but it was fun nonetheless.

Over the weekends, I went with Ryan, Chenghan, Gabriel to KL to watch Manchester United play Malaysia. Of course who cares about Malaysia, it was Man United we were there to see. Ryan was very nice to plan the whole trip, and he drove us all the way up to KL. I think it was not easy to drive such a long distance, so yea, very much appreciated.

The trip was simple, we will be watching the game on Saturday and the rest of the time is like eating or shopping. We didnt do any shopping, but we really did ate. I don’t remember much of the names of the stuffs we ate but the mee tai bak was the 1 that takes the pie for me. It was damnn good, even typing about it now makes me hungry. Of course the food in these places are quite ”dirty”, aiya but fark it, not as though we mind. Nothing funny or amazing happen, but i would say i had lots of fun. Maybe because we are close friends so it’s more enjoyable. Everyone did their part and I feel the trip didnt have much of a hiccups. The only thing was that we didn’t go for the massage but then again, Im not really into massages, so im cool about it. We did go to a ”health club” to enquire. But yea you guess it, it was those sleazy health club. The guy in charge also had a sense of humour. He said something like, ”what you guys want? Girl? China girl? Local? Man? Animal? Everything also can, cause my name is Ken.” HAHAHA. Like wtf, then he gave us his name card, name written on it – KEN!

Anyway we only stayed 1 night, and i don’t know is it i really very tired or what. I slept very very well. It’s those deep sleep whereby after sleeping for 5 hours, i felt damn shiok. And i think the rest of the lads can accept my snoring so the good news is we can sleep together again for the next trip!

As usual, Ryan was up to his usual antics. Always mickeying around and making us laugh. He was sodomise by the ”eclipse” sweet box, for awhile. He didnt really seem to like it though, as he didnt ask for it again.

On the game, the stadiam we went to was Bukit Jalil stadium, Not too bad a stadium I would say. But nothing too great either. It’s about the same as the national stadium, but just newer. Not much state of the art stuffs i would say. The good thing about the stadium is, you can smoke in the stadium haha. and imagine the game was at 530pm, we were there at about 3pm. And about 50000 people, so we squeeze like dog in a stadium under the hot sun and with cigarette smoke. Shiok right. But its ok lah, I still feel it is acceptable. We also got quite close to the players, cause we sat at the second row. Berbatov is huge, Anderson is also quite stout. Johnny O Shea is also damnn big size, so too is Rio. The rest is like what you expected. Actually i was quite surprise of the height of O Shea, he is really quite tall. And to be tall and able to move well is a feat by itself.

All in all it was a good trip. I don’t think each of us spend much either. We should really do this more often man. Maybe should have really gone for the sleazzzy fun hmmmm…..

Randolf Dorothea

The Birth Of Randolf Dorothea.

Endeavour

There are some things in life which is definitely not in our grasp. I know i know, people like Guowen have told me stuffs like ”All great things start from the mind”, and some of the people ive met have also mention about ”All successful things started from dreams.” And i totally agree. So don’t misunderstand that im a pessimitic person. But this thing here where i am going to talk about is definitely not within my grasp. I am God damn sure, surer than Giggs being a 1 club man.

Today the world witness space shuttle Endeavour, flying/shooting/zooming up into space. Basically it is to build a space laboratory to conduct experiments in the vacuum of space.

When I was young right, i use to love these stuffs. Like space lah, Aliens blah blah. Then I went to catch this movie called Apollo13. Damn good lah this movie. So i sort of like these rockets, and shuttlers. But as i grew older, the interest eventually wore off. Because i know the Governement would not ever spend money on such things. But, economically it is a correct decision. A lot of stuffs that other countries do, its not for the sake of people or for whatever good reasons. It just to show that ”we can send someone into space, can you?” or ”we are the first to land on the moon.” If you do not agree, then tell me what’s the reason that China send someone into space, and tell me whats the reason of scaling Mount Everest time and time again. This is where any topic comes in. Why does country A want to challenge country B if they had team up, the world would be a better place. Generally i think for these people they should think as a whole. Its not country A vs country B, rather it should be Us(Earth), vs whatever is out there. This sounds a bit funny, but let me give you a simpler example. Let’s just say, the other time there was this save energy day in Singapore. Most of the lights in orchard was off for an hour at night. I read that for that 1 hour, the saved enough energy to last us another 25 years or something. Which is damn amazing right? Like a small action can lead to a big cause which comes to another topic which is called the butterfly effect or the chaos theory. You guys should really read up on this, it is VERY interesting, or if you hate reading then catch the show by Ashton Kutcher.This guy is very handsome. And since i have been linking all these points and this is the last part, ive decided to try to become a Hollywood actor.

NOT!

Announcer from the space agency’s mission control:-

“We have main engine start. Four, three, two, one, booster ignition and liftoff.”

Cradlesong

Oh Mr Cai just introduce me to a english song, and if Mr Cai introduces you an english then you better listen! HAHAA.

Anyways this blog is not to blog about anything. Its just for laughs sort of blog. Ok so here comes the joke:-

To Cch: Just in case you miss me already =)

Bet you love it, absolutely love it!

Ok just a small little note for myself, short lyrics of the latest song I keep listening to:-

Everybodys got a different story
Everybody wanna give theirselves away
But I’m still afraid
If we can stay out of their field of vision
If we can keep ourselves a half a world away
Honey we’ll be ok

The world can be so cruel
But I will sing for you
This cradlesong
All night long

And Then There Was 7

The jersey number 7 in Manchester United is like sort of sacred. From Georgie Best, Cantona, Beckham, Ronaldo. From the names above, we can safely say they were the best in their position at their time. Maybe not the best, but very close. All of them have won player of the year awards and so on. And so now we present *drum roll* Micheal Owen!!!

*Silence*

Yah that’s what i think too. Like duh! Owen in the number 7 jersey? Like omfg. Yah he won player of the year awards before but like he’s a little out of his prime right? Wearing the number jersey just give him unwarranted pressure. I think he already have more than enough pressure to handle. But seems a certain Mr Alex is trying to say something here. 1 of those would be saying to Owen ”hey son, ive faith in you, show them what you really got.” The other which is a little far fetch is, there will be no more flamboyant players coming to united. At least for this season. So to say, no more Ribery, no more Villa. I also read that Sir Alex says he does not want to buy anymore player. When i know about it, i was like ”really???”. So we really gonna blood Macheada into a winger or something? I have watch footy for the past 15 years at least. What i can say is, i have full faith in Sir Alex, his record speaks for itself. I hope he still gets it right. Sir Alex, Thanks for the 20 odds years. Even if we win nothing, please don’t let Liverpool win any WAHAHAHA.

Anyways with regards to Owen, i strongly believe he will perform. Really. And i hope my reviews on soccer is much better than my reviews on movies. HAHAHA. I wish you all the best Owen, prove to people you still have it, you do sucks in decision making (Real madrid reserves, Newcastle, relegation), but hey every dog gets his day. So yah, i wish you well.

Ok off-hand chant for Owen:-

Owen! Owen! Don’t play like Guowen! Repeated 10x

Week Ends

I love the weekends. Weekends are days you don’t have to wake up at 730am in the morning. Weekends are days you can just lie in bed and do nothing. Doing nothing is something that sometimes I like to do.

This weekend is not too bad. I will say it was pack with activites. Most of the ”lost it” gang atteneded both days of outing. The contradicting part is that the ”lose it” gane is gonna lose it even further if we gonna see each other every other weekends. But hey, it was fun isnt it. The jokes and bantering is normally what is fun rather than the activites.

Another good thing to note is that, it’s been a long time since the last drinking session. So it only means to say that we do not need alcohol to enjoy ourselves. I can’t even remember when was the last time i drank, i think it is at one of the lads birthday? Junyuan?

I played a quiz on facebook on sunday. The quiz is about, which tarot card are you now?. Guess what i got – the devil. I was like what the hell. Thanks man. The devil card sort of signifies that something bad will happen, but wtf, what worst things can happen? In terms of career or job, i believe as long as i try by best, there will always be a job round the corner. Relationship? I don’t even want to get started, but hey what can be worst. General health? Actually my back have been aching, i realise whenever i have an intensive football week, my back starts to act up again. But today it is better, not so stiff. Other than that,  i feel fine. Maybe should cut down on smoking.

Just now i just made a browse on shops in Far East plaza, the rent there on average is about 10k a month. Hmm, actually i think it is still ok. Not say like super expensive kinds. But of course the shop is also not very big. Location and everything blah blah is also important. Aussming you aim to make 5k a month from the shop. So adding in the rent, you have to have a turnover of 15k. But we have not yet factored in the cost of the goods. Let’s say you make a 50% profit on the cost price of the goods you sold. Thus the turnover to make 50% of the cost price will be 10k. So by right you need to make about 25k a month to earn 5k a month. assuming there are 30 days in a month. So 1 day you would have to have a turnover of $833. Actually not to difficult right? If you are selling clothes at an average price of $25, then you would need to sell 33 pieces of clothing. Which actually is really not too difficult. But… I have not yet factor in the pay of the employee, the electricity bills etc. Still breaking down the numbers makes it seem more feasible.

I also read the news recently regarding Universities offering degree on entrepreunaship. Really it’s a joke right? No? If entreprenuer’s need a degree to teach them how to be creative and savvy, then i seriously thing there is something wrong. We should go the Japanese way if we want our people to be more adventurous. The Japanese allow their school-goers more freedom to express themselves in school since they are young.

Randolf:-

Failure is nothing, failure is something only when you learn nothing out of the experience.

B-e-a-utiful

I can’t believe it man. I saw this girl in my office lounge about a month ago. She is like damnnn pretty+hot+sexy. Then after that i didnt see her around office already. So i thought she must be at another office. But today, i saw her again. She had a meeting with some of my seniors. I guess she miss me ya know, so she came back hahaha. But seriously, im not being kua zhang here, she is 1 of the most bestest girl i’ve seen in real life. She’s tall, i think about 1.76m? She’s slim. Have straight flowing hair. And the killer smile. Wah hot lah, seriously, very very hot. But i was wondering, she so pretty got guys dare to approach to know her meh. I read in articles before, some beautiful girls wrote that actually they get far lesser male attention than we think. Because guys generally think that these beautiful girls are too ”difficult” for them to chase. So guys will not approach them. And i think its true. So what im going to do next is say ”Hi” to the lady later. Will update you guys regarding this move.Oh yah in case u guys want to have a look at her picture please contact me ok. And seriously i confirm you guys will need a wank after that.

Ok tonight have some dinner with the lads and then saturday is gonna be a long day. God damn it. But still better than nothing to do lah right. Live and let live!

Nobody But You

Have not blog for the past week. Seems that actually there isn’t much to blog about. The only difference between my life this week compared to the last was that, this bloody song ”Nobody – Wondergirls” have been ringing in my head non-stop. Actually only the chorus is ringing in my head as it is the only part in English. In goes something like this, ”I want nobody nobody but you! x 10000.” Coupled with 5 beautiful ladies on mtv singing this song, surely it is a hit with me. But i realise, whenever i mention in front of my girl friends about Korean girls being pretty, they go ”plastic surgery lah!”. You know, some or most women are really scary creatures man, they wanna criticise like everyone and anyone that are prettier, hotter, sexier. Come on!

Another good thing that have happen in the week is that Ryan King and Auto Boon is back from their respective countries. Sad thing though is that nothing much have been planned. Was actually kinda looking forward to Ryan’s return, but seems so far no activities except a meet up at Orchard’s TCC. But he still have 21/2 weeks to go so maybe we will see something fun.

With regards to the flu, seems to be getting worst, but then again seems like everything is still under control. So on that part I guess the Government deserve a pat on the back. So far there are no deaths at all, which is a good thing.

You guys know something, I feel that this world is like really damn money driven. 1 fine and classic example is that, the shows of transformers, GI Joe cant be better time to be film and shown. Most fans of these characters are in their 20s or 30s, whereby these people will spend spend spend. Damn smart. I bet in 20 years time they are so going to make a Ben10 movie. Actually it is not smart, just that these companies are able to do it. Simple math and logic really.

Seriously nothing exciting. Why don’t you guys excite me?

Didn’t I Told You

As most of you might know by now. Owen might be moving to old trafford. Earlier I had commented that this would be the best move for both parties. Getting a world class player for free and paying much less wages. For Owen is will be redeem time, to redeem himself. And if im not wrong Owen is a Everton fan, so maybe he want to provide some stick to all liverpool fans who have more or less written him off.

Anyways personally i hope he comes. I feel he have much much more to offer than what people think. He’s not too old, about 28 or 29. I think he still have at least 3 years to offer us, which I think it is good enough. Owen is 1 person whom is an intelligent soccer player, and with the manchester united midfield giving him all the service he needs, i doubt he will have excuses not to score.

I know my weekends this week is gonna be boring. But damn it, which weekends are not? So just live with it. As i said, i feel something is coming, i don’t know what though, but i feel. Haha, hopefully it is good rather than bad stuffs.

All right nothing to blog about, until next time.